Film festival season has rolled around again, and I’m in the midst of SFIAAFF 2009. Before I dive into the movie reviews, let me share a bit of the wisdom (?) I’ve gleaned over my past 8 years (Really. At least one a year since 2001.) as a film festival attendee.
- Never read the long film guide. Each movie’s description will always be glowing, because it’s most likely written by the person who picked the film for the festival. It will also likely tell you too much about the movie; I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to know what happens before I actually watch the movie. For all these reasons, I usually make all my movie-going decisions from the mini-guide alone. One or two sentences and the picture is usually enough for me.
- Look out for certain red flags in the description:
- existential = depressing
- nuanced = boring
- important = a self-important, preachy, condescending political statement that nevertheless manages to insult your intelligence at the same time.
- Never, under any circumstances, ever see a movie that has won the Grand Jury prize at another festival. It is most likely “important,” or “nuanced,” or—the horror!— “existential.” Also, it is not a “movie.” It is a “film.” It is, without exception, a piece of cinema that is weighed down by its own pomposity and bombast, and so far out of touch with the primary purpose of the movies—to entertain, for God’s sake—as to be laughable. Once you stop crying.
- By contrast, any movie that has won an audience award has a pretty good chance of being enjoyable and entertaining. A good bet.
- It’s not a good film festival until you see something truly awful. I mean, something so terrible that it makes you want to tear your eyes out of your head and wish you’d spent that time clipping your toenails instead, because at least you’d have gotten something out of the time you spent. It’s not really a complete film festival experience without the crap.
