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Who the hell dressed Keyshawn Johnson today? Green checks and a pink polka-dotted tie? Yikes.

I felt like this. And since then, I have very carefully not thought about the f-word.

But like an oasis in a football-less desert, the NFL 2008 draft takes place this Saturday, Apr 26, at 2:30 PM ET, for those of you parched like I am for some pre-preseason analysis. Woo!

Other than the usual focus on building up the defense, which still needs doing (especially at safety), the Bears will need to do two things, IMO:

1. Trade for a good veteran running back, because let’s face it, Cedric Benson and Adrian Peterson are not getting it done. And Benson the prima donna has had his chance.
2. Draft a great running back, because Garrett Wolfe ain’t getting it done either.

I consider the running back problem the the most important part of staffing strategy, though the quarterback position remains an issue, and there’s the new concern over the aging offensive line. Not to mention the loss of Bernard Berrian and Muhsin Muhammad to free agency, leaving a gaping hole in the pass offense, which won’t be that much a problem unless we have a competent, consistent quarterback. Basically unless Lovie Smith makes some tough decisions this preseason, the 2008 season will be worse than the 2007 one. The picture looks grim indeed.

It may be late in the season, it may not matter in the playoff picture, but it’s supremely satisfying to see the Bears play like they care again. And how about that Brandon McGowan? Monster game from him today.

Oh, and a fantasy update. I missed 4 full weeks of football due to, first, a trip to India (more on this later), and then an unfortunately timed flight for a business trip, but the final result is that I was eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. By two points. My final record was 10-5, third in the league, and second in points forced. Three of those five losses, by the way, were against the same team, the team which delivered the finishing blow to my season, and which went on to win the championship. The team with Tom Brady at quarterback. All in all, though, I had a great season, and will be doing this again next year. BEARS!

Almost all my players were in losing battles last week, and I had an exceptionally low-scoring game. In fact, I thought for sure my team was going to lose; before Monday night’s Pittsburgh-Baltimore game, I was down by 29 points, and while Big Ben has had a spectacular season thus far, 29 points for a quarterback is asking a lot. But he had a monster game—which, sadly, I missed due to working late—coming up with 5 TD passes and 38 total fantasy points, putting me over the top by a mere 9 points. It was a good thing—no offense to you Eagles fans out there—that Philadelphia (whose D my opponent had) got spanked by Dallas last week, because otherwise I would never have won my fantasy game.

This week is probably going to be tough on me, because I’ll be doing without three key players: Joey Galloway, Wes Welker, and the Patriots’ D. I’ve only got two receivers in play this week, but fortunately they’re Ocho Cinco and Bobby Engram. Less fortunately, my opponent has a fantastic team, including Tony Romo, TO, TJ Houshmandzadeh (who in my personal opinion has been more of a force for Cincinnati than has Ocho Cinco this year; he certainly seems to be getting all the TD catches, and therefore all the fantasy points), and Jeremy Shockey. My opponent is favored by a relatively small margin of 11 points, but this could get ugly.

The reason I’m writing about this earlier than usual, by the way, is that I won’t be able to watch much of the early or late games tomorrow, as I am going to see Da Bears play in Oakland tomorrow! Woo!

Indianapolis had the best chance of stopping the Patriots. Their defense played astoundingly well today, and ultimately what lost this game for them was the offense’s less than stellar—though by no means disappointing—performance.

How about those Patriots, though? Sloppy play overall, but they pulled it out in the end. Randy Moss of the magic hands and Tom Brady the quick draw artist saved this game, Moss almost single-handedly. Quite literally, in the case of one of those receptions.

I don’t think anyone in the rest of their schedule, except perhaps the Steelers, has the ability to stop them, so the next best game we have to look forward to is the AFC championship game between these two teams.

Vinatieri missing a field goal? The Pats going 3-and-out? What a game.

You know, I thought New England was going to dominate the Colts’ pride in this game, but so far, though it’s early yet, Indy is looking better on both defense and offense than New England. So exciting!

manhandled out there. I’m really rooting for the Chargers here, not only because of LT (who’s had a terrible performance with just 33 rush yards today), but because anything that weakens another NFC North team is fine by me.

On another note, nice job by Philip Rivers on this drive!

I cleaned up in week 8: 112-99, and am favored by 30 points in this week’s matchup, though if Drew Brees, my opponent’s QB, keeps playing like he’s been playing the last couple of weeks, I might have a match on my hands.

But enough about that. I don’t know how anybody can think of anything but what is sure to be the best game of the season so far: this afternoon’s mammoth Colts-Patriots meeting. Fireworks in Indianapolis today. Woo!

In other news, I have to say I am liking the nfl.com Fantasy site redesign. Simple changes, but with dramatic effect; the site is clean and easier to use. Awesome!

What a heartbreaker for Pittsburgh! Roethlisberger, despite 2 interceptions and a fumble, had a phenomenal day with 4 TD passes and 290 pass yards.

And one of the reasons I come out on top, even with Dallas Clark left to play tomorrow night, is that I have Jason Elam as my kicker. Current standings: 94-73. Current record: 5-2-0. Not bad for only playing with one running back today. Boo-yah.

First, BEARS!!! It was ugly, but it was a win. And how about that last drive? 97 yards with no timeouts. The Bears? Yeah, you heard right. The Bears. Awesome.

In fantasy news, I’m tied up with my opponent, and I’ve still got 4 players to play: Ben Roethlisberger, Najeh Davenport, Jason Elam, and Dallas Clark. My opponent has the Steelers’ Heath Miller yet to play. After expecting to lose horribly this week, now I am cautiously hopeful that I’ll win. Woo!