Since this is the first of my Don’ts series, I’ll do a little explaining. As I’ve said before, while I am not formally trained (much) as a writer, I am a shameless elitist. And in the past few years of reading, I started unconsciously quantifying what I liked and didn’t like about books I read, and why I liked or didn’t like it. With my recent enrollment in a writing class, and my subsequent attempts to write fiction of my own, as well as my reading of other amateur fiction, I’ve come up with an unofficial list of things not to do when writing. I’ll be writing posts on a number of different elements of writing; this post will be on dialogue and how not to do it well.
- Exclamation points: This one is simple; don’t use too many of them. People don’t tend to exclaim too much except in high drama moments. Dialogue with too many exclamation points just seems overwrought, and, well, like the author is trying too hard.
There are, of course, some exceptions to this rule, but they are mostly in comedic writing, and then only when the author is particularly skilled.
- Synonyms for “said”: I’m talking about words like “screamed”, “exclaimed”, “whispered”, “commented” (especially “commented”), “cried”, “laughed”, and the like. Don’t use too many of them. In fact, try and minimize the use of these altogether. “Said” pretty much says it all. Use of other words, I find, tends to overwhelm the dialogue and not let it, ahem, speak for itself.
- Adverbs: Things like “she said quietly”, “he whispered brokenly”, etc. Again, they tend to be melodramatic and overwhelm the dialogue. The dialogue should communicate the mood all by itself, with little or no help from outside description like this.
- Exposition: This should, in most cases, not be allowed. It is, sure, necessary sometimes, but (a) not as often as you’d think, and (b) very rarely done well. The rule? Never explain in dialogue what both the speaker and the listener already know (nor, indeed, what the speaker wouldn’t include in the conversation because it would be inconsequential). If it’s crucial to the reader for the clarity of your story, do it outside dialogue, in the narrative, where it belongs.
- Realism: This is perhaps the hardest part of dialogue to get right, and yet the most crucial. It ties in quite closely to characterization; make your characters talk like real people. Don’t make them say things they wouldn’t normally say*. Dialogue that is poorly tied to the character, that is not consistent, can be the quickest destroyer of the reader’s trust—and by extension, interest—in the work.
- Pacing: This has to do with the rhythm of your characters’ speech. Don’t make it too fast; your character is not likely to spout huge sentences with no pauses in the middle. But also don’t make it too slow; this just drags the conversation out and risks boring the reader.
I think that’s all I’ve got. As I said, this is largely from my own figuring and experience, and perhaps is not the conventional wisdom.
* See my post on dialogue in The Criteria, the bad and mediocre dialogue examples.